U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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