I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
