he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize