But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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