The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
