I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
