apparently the secret to your success is patron
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
