if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
