its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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