Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
