Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
