Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
