I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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