I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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