I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize