Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
