the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
