I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize