like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
