You can't special order awesome
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
