Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize