Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
