i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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