there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize