that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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