So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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