Its about making memories worth repressing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
