I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
