Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
