I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just cropdusted the office
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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