I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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