try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
