I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
