i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
