I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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