there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize