bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
