Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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