i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
