community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sext me about skeletons
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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