Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
