I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
