So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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