Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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