I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
