She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
