Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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