i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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