i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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