so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
