Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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