I think i peed on brittanys purse
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
