is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
