i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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