If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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