what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
