His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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