ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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