I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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