I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
