I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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