she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
