You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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