Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
