do herpes really smell.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize