I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
