i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize