oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
