Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
