He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
