She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
