I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
